“For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change. Their articulation represents a complete, lived experience.”
-Ingrid Bengis
Words are capable of influencing change, particularly when it comes to the words you use when you speak to yourself. Your system is wonderfully obedient, and it will try to carry out whatever you’re telling yourself to do. Consider how you direct yourself through space. If you use words that imply tension and effort, that’s how you’ll move.
How often do you tell yourself to “push through?” What happens when you “pull” yourself up from a slouch? How comfortable is it to “stretch” and “reach” for something on a high shelf? None of these words are inherently bad, of course, but maybe there’s a level of effort that they bring with them that isn’t required for what you’d like to do. What if you decided to speak to yourself more gently? I invite you to try undoing your slouch and “aiming” yourself up, rather than pulling.
In this week’s lie down, notice the words that are used to initiate actions and describe movements.
An essential part of changing your habitual patterns is saying “no.” It’s the magic word! If we go back to the slouching example above, we see that the direction to undo the slouch comes first. Say “no” yourself. Say “stop” to the muscles and the ideas that are pulling you down. How does it sound when you tell yourself to stop?
When you speak to yourself forcefully and unkindly for the way that you’re doing something, you’re attaching judgment to your observations. What if you could say “no” to yourself without that judgment?
The tone of your self-talk is equally as important as the words you choose. As you build awareness of how you habitually do things, it’s easy to fall into the “I should know better” trap. Noticing what you’re doing and how you’re doing it is a wonderful chance to learn from yourself, and it’s not easy to learn from a teacher who’s putting you down. Be gentle with yourself.
Alexandra & Kateri
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